Clover Field

ok, I've never written anything this dark and emotional, so let me know what you guys think.

I wish I can meet a guy who's willing to promise me that he will never leave me, alone...until then, I think I will shut off my heart because I can't take any more heartbreaks.

I just need to numb myself and my heart, but that's easier said than done.  After all, how do you numb a bleeding heart?  I juess I have to wait for all the blood to be drained so it won't bleed anymore.

How much longer is that going to take?

I'm in such a dilemma; I want to see him with the greatest desire, but when I do see him, I wish that I hadn't seen him, because I can feel the scabs of my heart being ripped open and blood gushing out of it.

Can someone please stop my life right now?  The pain is insufferable...I don't want to live like this, it hurts so much... so much...someone please stop it.  I can't eat, I can't sleep; I'm afraid to wake up because of the pain.

If there's no chemistry between us, then why am I in such pain?